TaraSchiroFiled under: Asthma
Start line for the marathon. I’m in there somewhere…
The short answer is that I finished the 1/2 marathon in November. If you read my previous posts, I was really anxious about whether I would be able to go the full 13.1. I did. The longer answer is that as soon as I crossed the finish line, I went into a full blown asthma attack! It wasn’t pretty. The medics came over with a gurney and wheeled me over to their first aid station, but not before I had my finisher’s medal around my neck. Priorities!
The reason for the attack? Emotions. I saw the finish line and couldn’t believe I had accomplished my goal. I broke into tears and all I could think about was, “Did I just do that? Did I really run 13.1 miles?” The lungs cannot multi-task. They cannot run and cry at the same time. I pushed forward to run across the finish, as I cried, and the lungs closed up in a nano-second. It was a classic attack: gasping for air, gasping for the inhaler, terrified I was going to pass out.
I ran a second 1/2 marathon in December. I wasn’t going to sign up because I was afraid. What if it happened again? The day before the race in December, my husband talked me into running. I hadn’t been training, just doing my normal runs. My goal for the run in November was to finish; this time it was to finish without passing out!
Goal accomplished. I had a little more fun the second time around, took in the scenery and just relaxed. However, once I came to the finish line, my emotions started to get away from me again and my lungs threatened to close again. My husband said it looked like I was running backwards and forwards at the same time. I think I was because that is what it felt like.
The ambivalence of seeing the word “finish” and then having to run under and across it is uncomfortable. I suppose that is why it took me so long to add this post. I’m just not sure what to think anymore. Obviously I can run 13.1 miles. Obviously the asthma isn’t holding me back to the point of not doing what I want. But what?
My neighbor said to me it’s all in my head. The whole asthma thing. I rolled my eyes of course, because that is what I do when I hear something silly. He thinks it is my body’s response to some mental blocks of “not being…” (fill in the blank: not being good enough, not being able to keep up, etc. etc.) Okay, whatever. Maybe it is organic as he says. I don’t think so. But I’ll keep thinking about it.
I do know that short runs seem to exacerbate my lungs more than long runs; the harder I push up a hill and force them to open up, the better I feel. Metaphor? The more long runs I do (5 or more miles), the faster I become and the better my breathing is. One of these days I’ll figure this out; when I do, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, read Runner’s Word Magazine. It’s amazing.
UPDATE: Reading this post in 2015 makes me wonder what all the gloom and doom was about. This post should have been shouting with joy that I ran a half-marathon with asthma! I answered the question “Can I?” with a resounding “Yes! You can!” It amazes me how deep the negativity and insecurity was. Why was I not willing to be joyful in a success?
–Tara Schiro is the author of No Arms, No Legs, No Problem: When life happens, you can wish to die or choose to live NOW AVAILABLE http://www.amazon.com/No-Arms-Legs-Problem-happens/dp/0986305308 on Amazon and Barnes and Noble http://www.NoArmsNoLegsNoProblem.com
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Im 37. I just finished a half up in kenosha (my 6th). In addition to being asthmatic (often allergy and cold weather induced), im flat-footed, and on the heavier side (5’10, 215-220); my halfs have been getting progressively worse (granted my 1st one i did at a svelt 183, ran it in 1:56 with a shin splint, at 30 yrs of age. I wont accept age (just yet). besides mentally thinking about these things, i feel i need some motivational words to continue on, not get discouragewith my performances, and hopefully improve (and get back under 200 lbs); any words of wisdom
btw- also ran the chicage marathon in 04 and 05 (4:36, 4:47 respectively)
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Comment by Jack Powitz May 3, 2010 @ 11:33 amYou might want to take a look at my most recent post: August 13, 2010, “Running With Asthma, Is It All In Your Head?” I would also take a look at your recent training. Right everything down. Maybe you are not training and eating as you used to? No worries, we all have our down seasons. I just came out of a 9 month down season but am now back on track doing 5K’s and training for an upcoming 1/2 and full in the Fall and Spring. You can do it!!
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Comment by taraschiro August 13, 2010 @ 3:54 pmIm training now for the 2010 London Marathon and as a 50+ never run before person with Asthma I have to say that I do think some of the problems are down to the mind. The first few weeks of training I was very frightened; now though I relax when its getting tough, and give myself a few minutes when I get really short to just recover. Most of all I tell myself how much I’m enjoying it and get a real buzz after a long run.
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Comment by sue December 1, 2009 @ 6:59 pmI’m in my first week of training for a half-marathon I plan on doing in December…so far it was okay until yesterday when I was supposed to run 8.5 miles. My asthma messed me up the entire time after about 1.7 miles. I couldn’t even finish and had to stop at 6 miles. It took me an hour and a half JUST for those 6!! you can imagine the disappointment…so I was wondering if your times were ever disappointing at the beginning? How long till you built your “endurance” up? I’m wondering if it’ll get better.
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Comment by Jessica September 19, 2009 @ 2:53 pm